20 November, 2005

" I like to do all the talking myself. It saves time, and prevents arguments."

Subah hoti hai sham hoti hai
umr yun hi tammam hoti hai !

Sometimes...it really happens...
we can not judge our selves.. whether v r happy or cheerless.. whether we are enjoying the soothing daylight or frustrated.. whether we are satisfied with our lives or something truly is troubling inside..!
Today am running through the same state of mind...am not able to judge what really is bothering me...am I really happy for nothing ? or am I feeling depressed for something I don’t know... !
Under such circumstances...I sense I should answer my conscience...for the question it raised ...why are we born..? Just to feel the pain...prove how strong we were towards them.. Or how cowardly we faced them ...and then.. that’s it. All is over !?
I thought for a while...tried to prove its opinions wrong (just b'coz something inside me commanded me to do so)..But my common sense was sensing the same ...I was pondering… what it says is really true...is it not?
The days go by...difficulties appear and walk off.. happiness never delays its departure for long.. people among us soon disappear.. then gradually things around us alter.. our thoughts sink ...our struggle to live some more days -fails..
and soon we depart aswell.. without a penny & with out a bit of stuff we kept on making all our lives.. isint that the end, reader !?
We are no more...our desires our wishes our plans ..all are buried with us...and then we are never ever been thought again !
I stopped a while....thought I’ve said something wrong...have I ..?
Soon I made out...what I was wrong up on ! Its true life is too short to be lived. Its true we are here for a very little time.. its true there are many troubles to face and difficulties to meet.. its true we soon depart.. but it is not true that we are never ever been thought again !
Thts it !! This was the only thought lacking in my mind...!
Life is truly worth living only when u dress up your mind with valuable bullion,
It is worth living when u really make some difference in others life...when u r functional.. when u r important ..when u r a need for others.. and no for your own self ...
as one would be buried in sand ..but not his deeds ..not his reputation he made all his life..! His character would be praised or admired after his death aswell..
his works.. his servings would be considerable...and he wuld be living entirely.. fully.. without and stress.. without the fear of death.. without the fear of loosing..!
This is the life I guess every being would be asking for.. but before being handed with such a thing.. we must pass the exam…which is worth giving…for if we pass…we would be the king of our selves.. and we would be the master of our souls as we are partially now.. and completely then !

13 November, 2005

“An Honest Poet”

If a poet’s words become invaluable,
Then surely he will die, and
No one will remember his name.
No one will come to put flowers on his grave
Or be able to look him in the eye.
Behind my vision I see swords and armor,
But my hands and voice are loosely twined,
My feet’s potential swiftness
Is a painful order I’ve defied.
I want my skin to be clear as glass, so
Even if my shell should break
My remains will be dangerous and
My spirit alive;
You will see through me and
Know if I’ve lied.
Sometimes still I want to collapse, and
Even more to believe I am done.
I’m not a very good poet,
But at least I am an honest one... :))

So being an honest poet...here goes my latest Nazam..
hope u guys will enjoy this optimistic piece of my work ;)

Abhi umeed baqi hai
agarchah hai galat phir bhi
kahein kuch aas baqi hai
zara sa ankh mai pani
tou phir kuch pyas baki hia
dilon ki bedili mai ab bhi
'dharkan' raaz baki hai
nahi hai arzoo koi
nahi hai hasratain ab woh
magar phir bhi kahani mai
kahein kuch aas baki hai
zara si pyaas baki hai
k shayad phir kabhi ankhon ko
khuvabon ki talab ho jae
k shayad phir kabhi zakhom ko
marham ki talab ho jaye
k shayad phir kabhi soyi howi
hasrat ki ankhain bol uthain
baaat kar uthayein..
k shayad phir kabhi dil bedharak say
pyar kar uthay..!

06 November, 2005

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

Terribelly hurt !
misearable sitaution !
Lost all hopes !!!!

"Dont wanna live anymore" were the only words...! cant handle surrondings... Heart seriously damaged..!! "How am i going to live again ?" was the question with only and only ans "I CANT" !! I knw i culd have done it if i myself wuld have tried and stop mourning on spilt milk..! But it was not tht easy..infact it was impossible b'cz the things i was oweing tht time were... a depressed mind...a dead sould ...and a burning heart !
Even though i had lots and lots of ppl around me tht time ..but i was lonely..needed a shoulder to cry upon..
Frnds were there..but i dint want symathy of them...family was there...but i dint want them to be in trouble..
Hope was there but i dint want it to enter my valley as i was totally gone tht time...alone in the dark room..crying like hell..!!
months passed but no change was observed atall!
Yes its true tht time is a good healer but for me..it was just passing so tht death i may greet death soon !
But then there is GOD !!!!!
No matter where the hell was the whole world whn i was going through such terrible situations..but God was observing !
He wanted me to feel the pain for sometime so tht i must grow-up and be strong...but whn he felt tht now this gal she get some relief...He helped me :)
My routine for months was same..no fun..no social life..no botherence in anything..just skool...home and r00m !!
While continuind the same routine..i was crying in my dark room..and thn ultimately saw a beautiful girl...!!
she was a complete personification of peace..carrying rays of hope in her eyes & wearing a gentle smile on her face ...:)
She was the one who directed me to life again...showed me all the beauties of life ..
and illustared the true meaning of living to me :)

OKay guys now u all must be thinking abt this angel :D
And i must say everybody reading this post is a very lucky person as someway or the other u guys must be knowing this angel..;)
and her name is ....DAWN !!!! :) Wht a perfect nick she has...Dawn...!

Today is her birthday...and i have no words ..no words to thnk this angel for everything she has done..as words are still just words...!
They cannot show the intensity..but dear i must.. say "YOU ARE THE REAL MEANING OF LOVE !"
Wishing u a very very happy birthday ! May this birthday of urs brings countless happiness in your life! :))
and now...a ghazal....for u ..and only u :))

Meri zameen par jo chandni hai vo sab teri hai
meray falak par jo dil kashi hai vi sab teri hai

jo titliyon k paraon par likhay hain khat meray hain
ye jugnoon mai jo roshni hai woh sab teri hai

jo shab pe chaaii khamoshiyaan hain vo sab meri hain
sahar mai jitni bhi nagmagi hai vo sab teri hai

jo teray manzar mai aur manzar hain sab meray hain
jo meray seenay mai shayari hai vo sab teri hia

jo teri muthi mai khushbooain hain vo sab meri hain
jo meri ankhon mai roshni hai woh sab teri hai

And Now its yummmy yummmy cakeyyy timee !!!!! ;)
And guyss...u all r invited . ..but pls help ur self ;) ! :D

05 November, 2005

Happy Eid To Everyone ..... !!

This Eid..asusual...buzy in cleaning rooms...lightening gallaries...making sweets...greeting frnds..
recieving calls...earning lotzz of cash...eating yummy yummmy food ...n thn cleaning all the mess lols...
But finally...whn all is done...its time for my love..i.e my dear computer hehe :))
While writing this post my mind dragged me towards the poem i wrote related to Eid (last yr..) so i wuld love to share it with all my blogmates here...
This time owing comparitvely lesser time i was not able to write any new occassional poem..
but soon will be sharing a newly written but sad poem :))

So guyz right now...Simply forget everything and Enjoy the beauty of the day with a simple soothing nazam ;)

Agayi eid hai aaj
piyar k dou pal bitao
yun na tum udaas betho
hasoo, gaoo,,jhilmilao
phenk dou yeh gilay saray
bhool jao kabhi woh thay hamaray
kis k liyee itna udas?
kis k liyee itni piyaas ?
woh dekho woh wahan behtay
kitnay hastay gatay hai
tum ko bhool kar bhi woh
aish k din maanatay hain
phir tum kyun ho yar itnay udas
bolo kyn ho tum yar itnnay udas
aab bhool bhi jaoo unko tum
aur hans k khyshiyan bitha tum
k mouqa bhi hai ~reet bhi hai
har taraf khushioyon k geet bhi hain
chand bhi hai aur raat bhi hai .....
subaah ,sawera, aur eid bhi hai....!!!!

And now a ghazal which totally opposes the concept of the above nazam..lol .This aswell is my last yrs creations

Sabh ki umeedounN par keechar na uRaa
ay meray dil tou aab sambhaal hi ja

na daraa aab tu mujh ko logoN say
meray mazi tou aab k maar hi jaa

mujh ko jeena hai abhi umar bari
mujh ko kamzour na kar ,aab na sataa

sahilouN par chala hoN umaar bhar mai
aab tou moujouN say kuch shanakht karaa !

Ro raha hai tu aaj kyn "gumnaam"
Eid k din mai tou maazi ko bhulaa !!