24 February, 2016


When I was a little kid, I remember telling my mom that I want some of the soft-drink all other siblings of mine were drinking. It was coke. Generally my mom avoided giving me such a highly sugared drink at a tender age of 7 or 8, but that day I was cranky 'cause I had just woken up from my sleep. So mom decided to let me have a little bit. She poured it in a glass and came over to my bed to hand it to me. I had promised that i'll go back to sleep after drinking my coke. My mom must have looked away for like 10 seconds in which i managed to fall asleep with the glass of coke in my hand, however all the coke had spilled onto the bed. I woke up moments after the spill and bursted into tears because I had spilled my share of coke and there wasn't more left that i could request from my mother. To a kid, apparently, thats scarring. I can still access the feeling I felt in that moment. I felt extreme loss caused by myself and that I was so helpless to not be able to turn time back & prevent the spill.

Last night a similar spilling happened, not of coke but of something more valuable & irreplaceable. Something we cant just buy with money, something that we had worked very hard to obtain but we spilled it. And I immediately remembered the spill from 20 years ago. It's as if I was prepared 20 years ago for an exam I had to take last night. I may have dealt with this spill more gracefully & I'm sure this is preparing me for whats yet to come.


Blogger Rahul Bhatnagar said...

I can relate to this so much. Though with me it wasn't a lesson in responsibility. It was one in fear.

Basically this one thing I watched on the discovery channel, that said something to how the sun would run out of Hydrogen in a couple of billion years, and the solar system would collapse. They even showed this cute little CGI sun swallowing the earth on cue. And because I didn't know what a billion years were, like any normal 6 year old, the inevitable death of everyone I know and loved just hit me.

It was fear like I had never felt before, or since. And even decades later every single time I feel fearful and scared, I remember that cold 1996 December time in New Delhi, where a 6 year old had his first ever sleepless night.

Also, I guess I'm a couple of years late on this one, here's hoping you revisit soon.

3:57 AM  

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