Spills

When I was a little kid, I remember telling my mom that I want some of the soft-drink all other siblings of mine were drinking. It was coke. Generally my mom avoided giving me such a highly sugared drink at a tender age of 7 or 8, but that day I was cranky 'cause I had just woken up from my sleep. So mom decided to let me have a little bit. She poured it in a glass and came over to my bed to hand it to me. I had promised that i'll go back to sleep after drinking my coke. My mom must have looked away for like 10 seconds in which i managed to fall asleep with the glass of coke in my hand, however all the coke had spilled onto the bed. I woke up moments after the spill and bursted into tears because I had spilled my share of coke and there wasn't more left that i could request from my mother. To a kid, apparently, thats scarring. I can still access the feeling I felt in that moment. I felt extreme loss caused by myself and that I was so helpless to not be able to turn time back & prevent the spill.

Last night a similar spilling happened, not of coke but of something more valuable & irreplaceable. Something we cant just buy with money, something that we had worked very hard to obtain but we spilled it. And I immediately remembered the spill from 20 years ago. It's as if I was prepared 20 years ago for an exam I had to take last night. I may have dealt with this spill more gracefully & I'm sure this is preparing me for whats yet to come.

Me and I.

It happened again.

I laughed out loud and was surprised by the sound of my own voice.

It’s as if I had never heard myself before.

Is this my voice?

Is it you, ‘Me’?

I feel good about this.

I think ‘Me’ and I will become best friends forever.

Same old pair of eyes with renewed vision!

Reading some of my old posts in which I have whined about the noisiness in my house back in 2009 (probably caused by my younger twin sisters) I realized how a person is never EVER at peace with what s/he has! Back then I would complain about all that noisiness and today sitting in my quiet house all by myself, in my mind I’m appreciating the passive company of the noises of people I love running as the background music of my day! While I say this today, tomorrow hopefully when I have my own kids, I would probably go back to craving stillness and quiet. This proves that our untamed minds are never at peace IN THE MOMENT. So maybe we need all this education, skills, money, comfort, success to somehow run into enough life experiences to finally realize that all we truly need to get ourselves is to live in the moment lovingly! To love our surroundings however they are, because it will not stay this way forever! To love the noise, love the silence, love the incompleteness, love the cracks, and love the spills, because it will all go away sooner than we think it will.

So here’s to today, to this moment, to 11:08 am on a Monday morning, which I don’t want to alter! I want to sit through this morning and appreciate it exactly how it is, in all its perfection and all its flaws. I am living you 8^th Feb 2016, I am alive in this very moment to the full capacity of my consciousness and I am content!