"Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions."

The last thing I should be doing right now is writing a blog post but I’m gonna do it cuz that’s what I WANT to do. Besides, nobody really likes the last options, the last numbers & anything that’s last in general. Everybody likes being on the top, the first, the best! The day I chose non-conformist as a word to define myself, I took an oath & so I can’t really do what normal people subject themselves to do. So I’m gonna like the last, the hateful, the neglected, the marginalized, the discriminated, the suppressed, the less-than-perfect, the unholy, the unethical, the least expected.

"We begin life with the world presenting itself to us as it is. Someone—our parents, teachers, analysts—hypnotizes us to “see” the world and construe it in the “right” way. These others label the world, attach names, and give voices to the beings and events in it, so that thereafter, we cannot read the world in any other language or hear it saying other things to us. The task is to break the hypnotic spell, so that we become undeaf, unblind and multilingual, thereby letting the world speak to us in new voices and write all its possible meanings in the new book of our existence." –Sidney Jourard

I wish doing all that was as simple as has been written in the above para, but well, trying is not a bad idea, right? To whatever extent, we should all try each day to be a little less of a sheep than we are tuned to become. But there’s a line to be drawn, a line which separates nonconformity from being an utter fool conflicting every single unit of society. Where the line is to be drawn would be relative to each individual, but wherever that must be, we need to make mistakes in order to know where to draw the line.

Now there’s a strict rule in our societies against mistakes. There is absolutely no place for mistakes here; we have institutions of family, marriage & then the communal pressures that are guarding our every single move. If you don’t believe me try slipping your duppatta off your head & then see how you’re tried and tested in the court of your communal aunties where the judge is their tongues.

We are told to believe others’ narrations so that we do not make our own mistakes and irony is that it’s thought of as a good way of raising & rearing the coming generation. It’s thought of as a protection, the best protection in fact which is given to the inexperienced by the so called experienced people. What they don’t understand is that it’s destructive, I say let there be mistakes, let people make their own bloody mistakes. Why must one take anyone’s word on how something should be done is absolutely beyond me. If you are the one to face your death then nobody but you should be the one to face your life as well, and however you decide to face it. But no, that’s not permissible. We have strict codes of conduct which all must follow. I’m not gonna go into how narrow and flawed those codes are and how the death of morality is seen in those codes that are deemed to protect morality, but I’m gonna make a suggestion, a redundant suggestion nobody is ever going to take, but I’m still going to make it until someone, at least one person takes my word. Be less judgmental, more humanistic, and individualistic. Consider every individual’s religion as their personal affair. Don’t impose and once again don’t judge. Do what you are here for: you are here as someone responsible for your own soul so might as well take care of that instead of drilling holes in someone elses’ soul. And lastly cease to subserviate, look around and question!

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself". ~Friedrich Nietzsche

The reason why I haven’t been blogging lately is because I’ve been journaling, as part of my coursework, of course. And journaling is exhausting-cum-fun-cum-relieving-cum-revealing. It requires me to pour my heart out on the paper without fears of being judged, accepted or rejected. It just asks me to put it all down without thinking if it makes sense or not, if words are in a flow or not, if they are well presented or not, if anyone understands what I’m saying or not. And that helps. For once, not being understood by others helps; it helps for us to understand ourselves. And for once not making sense is acceptable and rewarding. So naturally I had to choose that over blogging. Blogging doesn’t give you that much liberty now, does it? And it’s not just the blog; it’s simply how the world works. Our world! [right or wrong – for you to decide]

Psychology is awesome by the way. The most reconciling of subjects, if you ask me. You get to know all there is to know through psychology. And if I weren’t so exhausted right now I’d have probably explained the how-s and why-s in detail but I’m tired, plus I’m on a pretense diet. Diet leads to hunger and Freud says hunger and sleep are two primary factors that play their parts in activating a chain of hyper-aggressive actions. Hyper-aggression can lead to murder. I don’t want to be a murderer. -_-

Oh and FYI: I said Freud says, and not Freud Said. Meaning I’m talking about some Freud who is alive. The real one is dead. So you don’t have to believe what I’m saying because I quoted the fake Freud. Not the father of psychodynamics Freud.

.. and I thought I was on a pretense diet -_-