After the blast that occurred on M.A. Jinnah road yesterday there are people who are raising voices as to why these large gatherings and processions were given a green signal and why weren’t they banned if there was a possible threat! Following is an answer to all such statements.

One who has closely studied the incident of kerbala would understand that the mourners of Imam-e-Hussain must not be terrorized from these blasts & take a back from going to these processions. Yes, it’s no surprise that there was going to be trouble during the processions on Ashura but Imam-e-Hussain also knew that once he sends his 13 yr olds and 18 yr olds out in the battle field in kerabala, they won’t return back home but did that stop imam hussain from doing what was right? He could have easily taken oath (bayat) at the hands of Yazeed, the tyrant, but he didn’t! He sacrificed everything he had but didn’t let the oppressor succeed in his cause!

People are coming out and saying that till majalis we understand but why did they have to go ahead with the procession despite the threats. For this they must understand that the act of terrorism is to terrorize people and any alteration in the acts of Hussainies would signify that the terrorists succeeded in their task. Some say we wish they had kept a low in processions this year! I completely disagree with that. Blast in processions today will lead to blasts in majalis tomorrow & then to completely terrorize Hussainies to an extent that they won’t even come out of their houses! Although, I as a Hussaini know that this will never happen. We will continue to go to majalis, juloos (processions) and involve in azadari no matter how many security concerns there are. And No, I don’t do that to become a martyr or to be called as a shaheed! My aim is plain mourning of my Imaam and martyrs of kerabala. People can continue to think whatever they may!

In the end I’d say that all those who think that why is it so hard for us to take precautions must understand that not conducting processions is not a precaution, it’s a consequence! If someone is really interested in taking precautions then he must advocate tightened security measures & other such measures, not a ban on the procession itself!

Past few months haven’t been easy on us Pakistanis. A lot has been going on in the political as well as economic sphere, and to add to the misery, the frequently occurring terrorist activities have suffocated a common citizen like me. I am neither a political activist nor any party affiliate. I’m just an ordinary citizen who is victimized and manipulated time and again by the media, political leaders and various institutions. Well, this is not a political blog so I’m not going to worry you with the matters of the state. But point here is that living in this part of the world; every day is a struggle between life and death. I mean who’d have thought in their wildest dreams that they’ll go out for a normal day to day shopping and will end up being dead or severely injured in the Peshawar market blast. Sometimes I think if there was to be a vulnerability calculating machine, we’d have definitely achieved the highest figures. Well yes, I know we wouldn’t have. This is another problem. Considering that there are countries which are in worse situation than us; it gives us little right to complain. But there are two standards of comparison, we can either look at the developed countries and mourn at our state or look at countries like Nigeria and Somalia, and try feeling better about ourselves. For me, the standard of comparison has always been the former, so I’m always seen criticizing my country, and well, I won’t be stopping anytime soon.

Anyway, this wasn’t something I wanted to blog about. There’s an additional misery in our lives, and that’s illness and diseases. Recently one my friends died of Swine Flu. Honestly speaking, I had never taken any news about swine flu seriously. For me it had always been like, angraizoun ki bemari, and a result of their own karma. Obviously, what else am I supposed to think when I grew up listening to people say that even uttering the word PIG is considered haraam! And I guess I wasn't the only one; terming it as the disease of non –Muslims, the government officials ignored the precaution to be taken in the spread of this deadly disease. And according to an official release, 10 people including seven women died of swine flu in the country amongst which one of them was my friend.

She was my classmate, my best friend in school and a very happy-go-lucky person. She had gotten married about 10 months ago and was expecting since the last 5 months. I hear people say that pregnant women are four times more likely to be affected by this flu as compared to a normal person. I have stories to tell about this friend of mine, I’ve spent a good childhood with her, we were almost like family friends, but I’m not going to add any of this here right now; I’m just emotionally drained.
Rest in peace, my friend.

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

I am so overjoyed at the moment. I think if there’s one good thing that all the past days’ sickness has done to me – it must be that it brought my friends closer to me. Actually they were always close, only I didn’t realize. I think I now know how so truly blessed I am to have people who truly love me, around me!

A special thanks to Her [she knows who ;-) ], my old neighbors (Zainab, Sakina and Fatima) and all my friends at uni. I.e. Kiran, Ifrah, Dilaira, and Batool! Oh and a very special thanks to kiran’s mum. Her prayers and love made me weep with joy. Cheers to all of you for being there for me, for all the love, support, care and duas. I now don’t care if my wound heals or not, if it looks ugly or goes back to normal, I am just happy that I have people who genuinely care, genuinely love, and genuinely stick around! Thank you all! =)

Bad things have started to happen with me and around me. Just yesterday night I had kept something in the oven for baking and while I was away, my oven exploded, scattering tiny pieces of glass all over the place. Had someone been in the kitchen, they'd have been either burnt cause of heat or injured severely due to the flying pieces of glass, but thankfully nothing bad happened.

Earlier this week when I was baking pizza, a portion of my left hand got burnt simply because I wasn’t too careful in handling the pan and so the entire pizza pan fell on my hand. The burn was pretty bad. All the layers of my skin had swept away leaving a bare patch on my hand, but that’s not it.

Earlier today as I was rushing out of my apartment to go to college, I almost slipped on the stairs when my reflexes came into action and my right hand instantly grabbed the nearby iron rod - to prevent me from slipping down the stairs. The damned iron rod was not only rusty but was also sharp, so much that my index figure was cut, badly. I don’t know how to describe so look at the image and try to picture it in reality.



The first thought that came in my mind was that WTF is wrong with me! And that’s the very moment when tears started to flow like a river. To tell you honestly, I have had really massive bad turns in my life but never have I acted like this before. I am the person who would never ever cry in public. I had things in my control no matter what the circumstances but today I don’t know what happened. I seemed to have had lost all the control. I just couldn’t stop crying. The doctor actually got offended. She was like ‘I have done the best I could have done so will you just stop crying!’ Little did she know that it wasn’t even about her. It was as though something inside me was wrecked so bad that for once I had allowed myself to forget about controlling myself or what people may think - and just react however my system wanted to. Anyway, getting back to the wound, after what seemed like years in prison, I was taken to the operation theater and a surgery took place. The surgeon was talking on the phone inside the O.T. so you can imagine how much I’d have trusted her or the entire damned hospital which just couldn’t take a girl sobbing lightly in one corner of their huge building. Well, so now I have canula (however u spell that) on one hand and broken/cut figure attached to the other hand. The fate of the wounded figure is yet to be decided. As for now it’s dysfunctional and the doc. told me to pray for the chances that it gets back to normal, someday. I’m typing these series of unfortunate incidents with my left hand and I have like 3 assignments and an hourly week lined up. I don’t really know what’s next in my fate, but for now I think I’ve crippled my future with my own two hands.

"Truth is the only safe ground to stand on"

The other day I was having this conversation with a friend about the Junaid Jamshaid (JJ) statement regarding the stampede that occurred here in Karachi on 14th September ‘09. In a nutshell what happened was: Poor people died collecting free food and JJ held them responsible for their own deaths. His views: “Why did they have to go to collect free food when Allah will take care for the provision of sustenance to the hungry” (If someone is interested in following the entire JJ debate please go to http://tazeen-tazeen.blogspot.com/) Now my friend thought that JJ is partly correct in declaring what he declared where as I was of the notion that he is off beam from top to bottom. Friend said: people shouldn’t have gone to collect free food in the first place. It’s beggary! They should hold their heads high and retain their pride by earning their sustenance rather than waiting for the news of freely distributed food and running after it like beggars. I reasoned it and I negated. Firstly I don’t even think this is beggary and secondly I refuse to believe that a poor person who is unable to fulfill the ‘basic needs’ of his entire family (even while working day & night) will avoid or hesitate to get his hands on the little extra help being provided by anyone in the world. I’d quote "There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread" -- Mahatma Gandhi

So I was asked “if you were poor would you have done the same? Would you have gone out to collect free food?” I said most definitely I would have stepped out if I had six crying children waiting to be fed! My friend said you’re just saying; you wouldn’t have gone! Why because your pride wouldn’t have allowed you to do so. So basically my friend was saying it’s not in my blood to act like a beggar - whatever the circumstances.

This led to the discussion of Nature Vs Nurture. Will a beggar’s son always turn out to be a beggar? And thieves’ thief? Let’s try to figure it out!

There are people/scientists who say that when you are born you have a set of values, morals, ethics and principles. These are pro-nature people. They say that when you grow up you only develop those innate values further and act upon them, but never acquire new set of values or change your previous values or beliefs which were given to you by birth. If you question them as to how exactly does this by birth knowledge come to us? They tell you that it’s transmitted through the genes. In short: For them, everything is genetically predetermined. The Nature Theory say that not only are characteristics like eye color and hair color transmitted through the genes but more abstract traits such as intelligence, personality, aggression, and sexual orientation are also encoded in an individual's DNA. Now there are a lot of questions in my mind. Is there a gene which even determines/restricts/formulates thought process and what a person may or may not believe in?! Isn’t that almost unfair? But then who said everything is going to be fair?!? (Religious thoughts aside)

Now, the counter theory of the nurture school of thought deems environment to be responsible for the behavioral aspects of the individuals such as personality, beliefs, sexual orientations etc. Quoting an extract from www.about.com, “If environment didn't play a part in determining an individual's traits and behaviors, then identical twins should, theoretically, be exactly the same in all respects, even if reared apart. But a number of studies show that they are never exactly alike, even though they are remarkably similar in most respects”

So what’s the conclusion? They say that both Nature and Nurture have a 50-50 share in shaping the life of an individual. In some cases you are born that way whilst in others you are so and so because you were taught to be so and so! But coming back to my question, will a beggar’s son only become a beggar? well ‘cause then technically that’s the inherited intellectual level that he has!

Here’s what I think. When a baby is born he/she obtains several physical traits such as eye color, hair color etc from their parents’ DNA. And not discarding the lifelong researches of several genologists I also force myself to accept that behavioral aspects and personality traits might be inherent as well. BUT now that the baby is born with whatever the characteristics and exposed to the environment, the nurture effect takes place and no matter whatever the inherited disabilities or abilities one may possess the environment reshapes them. For e.g. If I were born in a butchers family and was adopted by a professor of science and technology who reared me with love and provided me with a world class education then it is most likely that I would turn out to be an intellectual or scholar rather than what was predetermined through my genes. Hence i'd say nurture the nature because at the end, nurture always saves the day!

Eid-ul-Fitr '09

So it's "finally" chaand raat (moon sighting night) in Pakistan tonight and Eid is just round the corner. I say finally because in some parts of our country this auspicious occasion of Eid was celebrated today where as others are going to celebrate tomorrow. Reason for this divided celebrations: Moon sighting issues. Anyhow, so it's Eid tomorrow!!! Meaning loads of food, sweets, relatives gatherings, and Eidi (cash given to children by the elders symbolizing festivity)

I am counting on my Eidi so that I can change my phone! The one I have right now was won by me in a Radio contest (FM 96). But it lasted just one year. Thanks to Sony Ericson S500i's crappy manufacturing team.

Well it's time for me to go the parlor to get my eyebrows done. (It sure is a rare sight, me in a parlor) but well I better go!

On a personal note: I still don’t believe Ramadan is over so soon! Although I won’t say I'm sad, 'cause I really ain't! Dare you ask me why, and I'll burden you with my elaborate cooking indulgence stories!

Posts I never posted

Well, the heading says it all. Basically I was cleaning my notes section on the computer today and found out that there are plenty of posts which I had written on my computer however never thought of posting them on my blog. So today I thought why not just post them? Just for the record! May be my grandchildren can read these and have something to laugh about? Lol anyway, For now, I’m going to post just three of my previously unpublished posts. So here they are:

Written on July 03, 2009:

The compliments I am getting these days are truly overwhelming. Nah- I don’t intend to brag about myself, but honestly look at this. “10 years from now I can imagine you being a ‘philosophy’ teacher” said one of my friends at the university. I had a good laugh at this one, cause seriously I did aspire to become a Philosopher someday, though I don’t see myself there anymore. But hey, there’s more to swank about. No, this one is really something to be proud about. I got this one-liner comment at the end of my last assignment which I handed in to my Advance Writing Skills teacher. It says ‘you were a wonderful addition to my class!’ I mean seriously! I couldn’t help but blush. It was great having her as a teacher really, Pakistani students desperately need teachers such as her who truly know what professionalism is, and one great thing about her was her non-biasness. She treated everyone equally no matter how good you are in your academic standing, and her purpose was something which a teacher should have and that is to ‘teach’. So as I said, it was great to have her a s a teacher though what’s funny is how I always referred to her as my ‘American Teacher’

Written on August 03, 2009

Just before I opened Microsoft word, I had so many words waiting to come out that I could hardly contain anything in my head, but suddenly all that is gone and I am left with nothing great to say. Oh well, that’s where the facts can help, it’s 5:15 in the morning, and the date reads: 3rd August 2009. I was fast asleep two hours ago but all of a sudden I woke up and can’t seem to fall asleep again. May be it was so that this post could come into existence, or may be not!

I have a blend of multiple emotions at this particular moment in time and I am strongly missing mum and her unconditional love. Honestly speaking, nothing happened, nobody said anything bad to me, I had a perfectly fine day with nothing imposed on me or any disagreements with anyone, yet here I am, feeling low and defeated at the end of this perfectly normal day.

You know how you miss old times sometimes and wish against all odds that time could rewind itself, and you could play the movie of your life from there on. Well, let’s say if I were given this option, then I would rewind time to that point where my entire family lived together, which would mean rewinding my sister’s marriage and mums ever so painful departure. About my mum: She was like this cool mum with a happy spirit of life and energy touching the sky. She was my as well as my sister’s friends’ dream mum. And well this might sound a little insensitive but I honestly think that losing a mother isn’t THAT hard, but losing the mother I had is indescribable. (Or may be everybody thinks the same way about their mothers. I wouldn’t know)

Oh another feeling crawled into my skin right now! This one appears needy of being with someone who would take in all my dreadful traits and still care about me without any judgments.

Oh thank God, here comes the batch of tears skidding through my cheeks. Better take off now.

Written on: June 26, 2009

Disclaimer: Incomplete post/ranting. Bear with it ;-)

I hate it when this happens to me! This idea of performing under a certain required condition. I hate it because it takes away one’s freedom. The unfavorable surroundings impose restrictions; you are no longer the master of your own will, but a slave who follows the orders of a perfect condition. Anyway, that complicated analysis signified just that I had to wait a whole three hours for the house to fall silent so that I could put pen to paper. How sad it is to know that the birth of my own thought is dependent on external factors. But more then that, I hate the fact that I almost always have to start my posts with something which is absolutely not related to the content of my to-be posted post. Guess that’s how my thoughts are - unpredictable.

..a little sweet, a little sour..

I am spending almost around five to six hours daily on the internet these days yet I was too lazy to open one useful website and register for my university courses on time! So I paid a fine of PKR 1000 for late registeration! Now that's by far the most expesnive lesson I've ever purchased! so that wins this news, the elegibility to be blogged.

And blog reminds me that I ignored my blog for yet another month this time, or is it two? Well considering how busy a personality I am, am sure my great grand children will understand why I blogged so less during my teens!

oh wait, I had my birthday last month! Now that deserves to be blogged as well ;-) Well it was pouring so badly in karachi on my Birthday that it was depressing! Why because our consititution doesn't allow us to have electricity and rain together! But well, it still was a better birthday (comparitively) Thanks to my old neighbours.

By the way, its ramazan these days (Islamic month) so that should surely be on my blog! Although I think my religiousity has been rationalized to such an extent that the standard pakistani people might start to question. But... "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." -Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)

So that's it for now! oh by the way, I am listening to this Nasheed alot these days, so why should this detail be left out? Lol here, enjoy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKEkkStf678

Goodbye F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I have a knot down my throat right now, and I am going to put the word ‘cranky’ as an in charge for the perfect description of my current mood. And whoever wants to know the reason should swear by his laughing muscles that my reason would not be made fun of, and will be taken as a serious note for future reference.
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So basically if I were to submit an absent note to the blogosphere for my absence then it would voice out the fact that I’ve been addicted lately and due to the powerful impact of the drug, I was unable to keep up with the reality of my existence
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Now, let’s break it for the scared souls skimming through the post! I was addicted to watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S – The TV Show! (Something which the world is over and done with) And now that I am catching up with the world and through with all the ten seasons of this soap opera, I feel such intense loss, it’s partly terrifying.

Addiction is bad, somebody did tell me that, but it sure has temporary advantages. The time I spent watching all those 10 seasons in one go is beyond description. It was as though my reality had transformed and I was a part of their (the cast members’) reality. It feels so bad to sound that dumb publically by pronouncing myself as one of those people who run after celebrities and look them up but I can’t help it. I did look them up on twitter and Facebook and Google and God knows where else, but the point is, it never really works. I mean looking up celebrities and finding them to catch up with their lives sure must be someone’s past time, but it isn’t mine. The only reason I care to do that is to get more of them, more of their humor, leg pulling, sarcasm and chemistry (in case of friends cast members) but as I said, it doesn’t work. Every time I look up a celebrity I feel so bad that it depresses me. They are nothing like what I think they may be. And this makes me realize that I was in love with the characters and not the actual celebrities. And I know that I sound like a silly six year old stating out the facts that everybody already knows, but who cares, I made friends in f.r.i.e.n.d.s and I lost them, that’s all I know for now.

By the way, I think its Lisa Kudrow’s (Phoebe) birthday today, so well, Happy Birthday!