18 September, 2009

Posts I never posted

Well, the heading says it all. Basically I was cleaning my notes section on the computer today and found out that there are plenty of posts which I had written on my computer however never thought of posting them on my blog. So today I thought why not just post them? Just for the record! May be my grandchildren can read these and have something to laugh about? Lol anyway, For now, I’m going to post just three of my previously unpublished posts. So here they are:

Written on July 03, 2009:

The compliments I am getting these days are truly overwhelming. Nah- I don’t intend to brag about myself, but honestly look at this. “10 years from now I can imagine you being a ‘philosophy’ teacher” said one of my friends at the university. I had a good laugh at this one, cause seriously I did aspire to become a Philosopher someday, though I don’t see myself there anymore. But hey, there’s more to swank about. No, this one is really something to be proud about. I got this one-liner comment at the end of my last assignment which I handed in to my Advance Writing Skills teacher. It says ‘you were a wonderful addition to my class!’ I mean seriously! I couldn’t help but blush. It was great having her as a teacher really, Pakistani students desperately need teachers such as her who truly know what professionalism is, and one great thing about her was her non-biasness. She treated everyone equally no matter how good you are in your academic standing, and her purpose was something which a teacher should have and that is to ‘teach’. So as I said, it was great to have her a s a teacher though what’s funny is how I always referred to her as my ‘American Teacher’

Written on August 03, 2009

Just before I opened Microsoft word, I had so many words waiting to come out that I could hardly contain anything in my head, but suddenly all that is gone and I am left with nothing great to say. Oh well, that’s where the facts can help, it’s 5:15 in the morning, and the date reads: 3rd August 2009. I was fast asleep two hours ago but all of a sudden I woke up and can’t seem to fall asleep again. May be it was so that this post could come into existence, or may be not!

I have a blend of multiple emotions at this particular moment in time and I am strongly missing mum and her unconditional love. Honestly speaking, nothing happened, nobody said anything bad to me, I had a perfectly fine day with nothing imposed on me or any disagreements with anyone, yet here I am, feeling low and defeated at the end of this perfectly normal day.

You know how you miss old times sometimes and wish against all odds that time could rewind itself, and you could play the movie of your life from there on. Well, let’s say if I were given this option, then I would rewind time to that point where my entire family lived together, which would mean rewinding my sister’s marriage and mums ever so painful departure. About my mum: She was like this cool mum with a happy spirit of life and energy touching the sky. She was my as well as my sister’s friends’ dream mum. And well this might sound a little insensitive but I honestly think that losing a mother isn’t THAT hard, but losing the mother I had is indescribable. (Or may be everybody thinks the same way about their mothers. I wouldn’t know)

Oh another feeling crawled into my skin right now! This one appears needy of being with someone who would take in all my dreadful traits and still care about me without any judgments.

Oh thank God, here comes the batch of tears skidding through my cheeks. Better take off now.

Written on: June 26, 2009

Disclaimer: Incomplete post/ranting. Bear with it ;-)

I hate it when this happens to me! This idea of performing under a certain required condition. I hate it because it takes away one’s freedom. The unfavorable surroundings impose restrictions; you are no longer the master of your own will, but a slave who follows the orders of a perfect condition. Anyway, that complicated analysis signified just that I had to wait a whole three hours for the house to fall silent so that I could put pen to paper. How sad it is to know that the birth of my own thought is dependent on external factors. But more then that, I hate the fact that I almost always have to start my posts with something which is absolutely not related to the content of my to-be posted post. Guess that’s how my thoughts are - unpredictable.


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